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I'm 36 weeks with our first. My husband and I have decided we don't want any visitors for the first two weeks, apart from my mum who's going to help with meals.
His family are very upset. His mum has said she "won't be told when she can meet her grandchild" and his sister says we're being precious.
I just want time to get feeding established, recover, and be in our little bubble. Am I being unreasonable?
Not at all. Those first two weeks are hard. You'll be bleeding, possibly stitched, learning to feed, sleeping in 90 minute chunks. You don't want to be making tea for anyone.
We did this and it was the best decision we made. I'd also suggest, when people do come, they bring food and leave after an hour. A friend did the washing up without being asked and I nearly proposed.
The one thing I'd think about is having your mum there but not his. That can feel like a big snub from their side, even if it's practical for you. Could his mum drop off a meal at the door and have a quick look at the baby?
Your husband needs to deliver this message, not you. And present it as a joint decision, which it sounds like it is. My wife was getting the blame for ours and it was me who'd suggested it.
earlybird_ellie, that's a fair point, I hadn't seen it like that. We've suggested his mum comes round for a quick visit with dinner in the first week and the full family meet-up after two weeks. She seems happier. Sister still sulking but I'll live.
That's a really good compromise. And the sister will forget about it the second she's holding the baby.
Visitors bring food or visitors don't come. That's my only rule.
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