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My SIL gave us three big bags of baby clothes when I was pregnant. Lovely, really grateful. She has now asked for all of it back because she's expecting again. Fair enough.
Problem: some of it is stained (baby poo doesn't care about your plans), a couple of vests have holes, and I've given a few things away to a friend who needed them, not realising they were a loan.
Am I in the wrong? I thought hand-me-downs were... handed down. Not loaned.
I think unless she said 'loan' at the time, it's a gift. But I'd still give back what you can and apologise for the rest, family peace is worth a few vests.
In our family everything circulates. Nobody expects it back perfect. Stains happen. I'd just be honest with her.
offer to replace a few basics with new ones? multipacks of vests are cheap and it shows good will
That's a nice idea, I'll grab a couple of multipacks and add them in.
For the future: whenever I lend or receive I now say out loud 'do you want these back?' Saves a lot of hurt feelings.
Tbh she could have been clearer. But yeah, give back what you can, a few new vests, and move on. Not worth a family row.
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