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My partner and I have joint finances. Last month I went through our bank statements and found nearly £400 on what he'd call 'small things'. Meal deals, coffees, takeaway lunches, a few gaming purchases, Deliveroo when I'm out.
Meanwhile I'm meal planning, batch cooking and taking packed lunches so we can save for a deposit. When I mentioned it he got defensive and said he's the one 'earning more', so he should be allowed small treats.
The 'I earn more' line would be a much bigger problem for me than the £400. Joint finances means joint. You're saving money by doing a lot of unpaid work.
We each get a set amount of 'fun money' a month that's ours, no questions asked. Same amount for both of us regardless of who earns what. Everything else is joint and planned. It stopped every argument like this overnight.
the fun money thing is genuinely the answer. he gets his coffees, you get your thing, the deposit fund is protected
Sit down together with the deposit target and the date you want to hit it. When he sees the £400 a month pushes it back by a year, it might land better than a row over meal deals.
Fun money proposed. He agreed far quicker than I expected. Think he knew. Thanks all
Worth checking if you're using a Lifetime ISA for the deposit, if you're both eligible. The government bonus helps a lot. Seeing it grow can make the meal deals feel less important.
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