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Pregnant with number two and terrified after last time

honeybeetles · Member969 views6 replies
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honeybeetles

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Link to post #2846

Just had my 12 week scan for baby number two. Everything looks fine and I should be over the moon, but I'm terrified.

My first birth was long and ended in an emergency section after about 30 hours. I had a bad haemorrhage and was in hospital for five days. My son is now three and I genuinely blocked a lot of it out until the midwife asked me about it at booking and I just burst into tears.

I don't know whether I want to try for a VBAC or go for a planned section. Everyone has an opinion. My mum says "you'll be fine this time", which is lovely but not helpful.

How did you deal with the fear the second time round?

three_under_five

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Link to post #2847

Ask for a debrief of your first birth if you haven't had one. Most hospitals have a service where a midwife goes through your notes with you. I didn't know half of what happened until I did that, and it took a lot of the fear away because I finally understood it.

MrsMakesDo

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Link to post #2848

I had an elective section second time after a traumatic first birth. It was calm, planned, I knew the date, the music was on. Completely different experience. I know VBAC is right for loads of people but don't let anyone guilt you about choosing a section.

Anya.Petrova

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Link to post #2849

I did a VBAC after an emergency section and it was fine, quick even. But I had a consultant I trusted who talked through every possibility. That's the bit that mattered, not which route I took.

helena_w

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Link to post #2850

Being scared doesn't mean anything bad is going to happen. It means something bad did happen and your brain remembers. Please mention it again to your midwife and ask about the perinatal mental health team if the fear is getting in the way of day-to-day stuff.

honeybeetles

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Link to post #2851

Thank you, I didn't know about the debrief option at all. I've emailed the hospital today. I think I need to understand what happened before I can decide anything.

Anya, a consultant appointment is booked for 16 weeks, so I'll take a list.

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