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Going no-contact with my mum now I have my own kids

OliveTreeMum · Member364 views5 repliesViewing this topic now1
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OliveTreeMum

Member

Link to post #3696

My mum was critical and controlling for my whole childhood. I'd kept a polite distance as an adult. Since I had my daughter (now 2), it's escalated. Undermining me in front of her, comments about my weight, telling my daughter I'm 'too strict'.

I've decided to go no-contact. My husband supports it. My siblings think I'm overreacting. I'm sure of my decision, mostly, but I'm grieving the grandmother I hoped my daughter would have.

Has anyone done this? How did you deal with the guilt and the family fallout?

Eszter

Member

Link to post #3697

I went no-contact with my father four years ago. The guilt was strongest in the first six months and faded slowly after that. What helped was a therapist who specialised in family estrangement. I don't regret it, and my kids have grown up without his voice in their heads.

raincoat_season

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Link to post #3698

The grief for what should have been is a real loss even if the person is still alive. You're allowed to feel that and still know it's the right decision.

stroller_strategist

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Link to post #3699

Just to gently say, I went low-contact rather than no-contact with my mum. Visits only in public places, I leave the second she starts. It's worked better for my situation. Not saying you should do that, just that there are in-between options.

Wandsworth_Will

Member

Link to post #3700

Siblings often react badly because your decision makes them question their own relationship with her. That's not your responsibility to carry.

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