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Our second arrived 6 weeks ago. Our eldest is 22 months. He was such a happy-go-lucky boy and now he's clingy, crying at night, hitting at the baby when he thinks we're not looking, and had a full meltdown when I fed her on "his" side of the sofa.
I feel awful. I feel like I've taken his whole world away. Does this pass? What helped you?
It passes. With mine it took about three months. The best thing we did was 15 minutes a day of special time just him and one parent, no baby, no phone. He chose what to play. It made a massive difference.
Get him to "help". Fetching nappies, choosing her outfit, putting the dummy in. And talk about the baby loving him, e.g. "Look, she's smiling at you, she thinks you're the best". Mine went from hitting to fiercely protective in a few weeks.
Also it's ok for him to not like her right now. We said things like 'it's hard having a baby around, isn't it? You can be cross about it. You can't hit her though.'
When my second was born, my mother told me to hand the baby to someone else whenever visitors came, so that I could greet the older one first. It's an old trick but it worked. Visitors walking straight past the toddler to coo over the baby is so hard on them.
The visitors thing, gosh, I hadn't even thought about it but yes, everyone goes straight to the baby. Will try all of this. Thank you.
You haven't taken his world away. You've given him a sibling. He just doesn't know yet that it's a good thing. Give him time.
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