Sort posts
I don't really know what I want from this post. Maybe just to say it somewhere.
We've been trying for 18 months. In the past six weeks my sister, my best friend and two women at work have all announced. I am happy for them, I really am, and I've smiled and hugged and bought the little cards.
Then I go home and cry in the shower so my partner doesn't hear.
My sister wants me to come to the gender reveal next weekend and I don't think I can face it. Is it awful if I make an excuse?
Not awful at all. Protecting yourself isn't the same as not loving them.
I skipped a baby shower when we were in the thick of it and sent a gift and a card instead. My friend told me years later she'd guessed why and completely understood.
Could you tell your sister, even a little bit? Mine had no idea we were struggling and kept asking when we were "going to get on with it". Once I told her she was so much more thoughtful. It might mean you don't have to make excuses.
The shower crying. Yes. I did exactly that for about a year.
You're allowed to feel two things at once. Happy for them and gutted for you. Neither cancels the other out.
If you haven't already, ask your GP about referral. In a lot of areas they'll start investigations after 12 months of trying, or sooner if you're over 35. Doesn't fix the feelings but it helped me to feel like something was moving.
Thank you. I actually rang my sister last night and told her. She cried, I cried, and she said I can come to the reveal for ten minutes or not at all and either is fine. Feel about a stone lighter.
Imogen, GP appointment booked for Thursday.
So glad you told her. Ten minutes and a slice of cake is a perfectly respectable appearance. Good luck Thursday.
Log in to replyGuests can’t post on the forum — signing up takes a minute.
