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This is going to sound odd. My husband is always on his phone. At dinner, at bath time, in bed. That's not new. What's new is that I realised a lot of it is him chatting to one of those AI chatbots. About work, about his day, about stuff he used to talk to me about.
He says it's just useful for thinking things through. He's not hiding it. But I feel weirdly replaced. Our kids (4 and 6) have started asking why daddy talks to his phone.
Am I being ridiculous?
Not ridiculous. Whether it's a chatbot or Twitter or fantasy football, the problem is the same: he's not present. My wife pointed out I was scrolling during our son's swimming lesson when he looked over to wave. That hurt and it was fair.
I use one at work and I can see why it's appealing, it never gets tired of you and it's always available. But if he's talking things through with it that he'd normally share with you, I'd say that out loud. Not as an accusation, just "I miss you telling me about your day."
We brought in a phone basket in the hallway. Phones go in when we get home, come out after the kids are in bed. Took a couple of weeks of grumbling. Now it's normal and dinner is nicer.
The kids noticing is the thing I'd lead with. Most parents care more about what their kids see than what their partner says, sadly.
Talked to him on Saturday. Led with the kids asking and then the 'I miss you' bit. He went quiet, then said he hadn't realised how much he was doing it. We're trying the phone basket. Two days in, so far so good.
Two days is a start. Well done both of you.
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